


strangers, on a crazy adventure

by SKJC



Category: Final Fantasy XIV
Genre: Anal Sex, Awkward Conversations, First Time, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Smut, Huddling For Warmth, Hurt/Comfort, Light Angst, M/M, POV Alternating, Reunion Sex, Reunions, Sharing a Bed
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-06-13
Updated: 2019-01-27
Packaged: 2019-05-21 15:41:47
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 15,248
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14918156
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SKJC/pseuds/SKJC
Summary: In which Alphinaud thinks he knows what he's getting into.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Note 1: Me, writing Final Fantasy fanfic? What year is it, 2001? 
> 
> Note 2: So, I started imagining/writing this before I started reading fic for this ship, and the reason it took me so long to type, edit, and publish is because I realized I'm using the same five tropes as people who are better writers than me. But, I finally decided to suck it up and post anyway, because eventually the sun will turn into a supernova and nothing actually matters. ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
> 
> Note 3: Melise is actually not the name of my own WoL, but I didn't want to use mine, so I got her name from a random generator. (Just in case anyone wanted to find me in-game...)
> 
> Note 4: To my subscribers from the Yuri on Ice fandom, I promise I'll write for it again when we get a movie trailer or something!

It wasn’t as though Alphinaud was unfamiliar with the concept of attraction. When he’d been at the Studium, there had been girls and boys alike that had made butterflies flutter in his stomach if they sat close by in the great library. Those feelings were never something he’d prioritized indulging in, but he was acquainted with them all the same. 

Even so, the naivety of those adolescent crushes did absolutely nothing to prepare him for the sheer intensity of his attraction to Estinien Wyrmblood. The man was an enigma wrapped in unyielding plate armor, and every time he looked Alphinaud’s way, his piercing gaze became more and more disconcerting. As they traveled, the effect only served to rattle him more and more, but thankfully, maintaining his composure in compromising situation was a skill Alphinaud was well-practiced in, and he managed well enough through days of tasks and travel and evenings spent sitting around a campfire.

As their journey went on, the nights turned colder, and eventually, the Warrior of Light proclaimed the need for a change in the group’s sleeping arrangements.

“The two of you,” Melise said pointedly to Estinien and Ysayle, “may be used to the hellish conditions of this freezing wasteland, and able to sleep wherever you please. Alphinaud and I, however, are most certainly not, and would benefit greatly if we’d all stop being such children and share a single tent.”

She had not, in fact, asked Alphinaud what he thought of this idea. But, by her rather insistent decree, that night one single tent was erected from the materials of their individual ones that looked just barely large enough for all four of them.

Alphinaud was absolutely not excited at the prospect. Or perhaps he was, but in less of a fun way, and in more of a state of low-key dread.

Melise and Ysayle were the first to retire for the evening, leaving Alphinaud and Estinien sitting in silence by the slowly dwindling campfire, which was nothing out of the ordinary. Alphinaud would generally be the next to head for his bedroll, but Estinien had removed the helm of his armor, a rare occasion, and Alphinaud couldn’t help but linger to sneak sideways glances at him as he gazed out across the snow-covered landscape.

“You needn’t wait up for me.” Estinien finally spoke, and Alphinaud jumped, feeling slightly as though he’d been caught at something. “You ought to rest. I’ll be along in a while.”

Alphinaud swallowed the knot in his throat, trying to will away the heat he could feel coloring his cheeks. _At least it’s dark._ “Well,” he replied after a moment, attempting an air of levity, “when you do, I’m certain the rest of us would prefer it if you didn’t come to sleep in your armor.”

An amused snort escaped Estinien at that. “Worry not, boy. I’d rather prefer to avoid stabbing any of you to death in my sleep.”

“We should all appreciate that very much.” Alphinaud stood and shuffled awkwardly in place for a moment, unsure of what else to say. After a long moment, he continued, “Well, good night, then.”

Estinien only spared a brief nod in his direction before resuming his contemplative gaze out towards the horizon.

Alphinaud gave a soft sigh as he crawled into the already-crowded tent next to Melise, as quietly as he could manage, and proceeded to cocoon himself in some of the remaining blankets. Briefly, he prayed that he would be able to fall asleep prior to Estinien choosing to join them, and spare them both any further awkwardness from the situation.

Instead, he drifted in and out of a fitful sleep for a while, as though fighting with his subconscious. Eventually, though, the feeling of another warm body sliding between the blankets on his other side shocked him back to full awareness. Suddenly, his heart pounded in his chest so hard he was certain it had to be audible, and it took great effort to keep his breathing slow and even to maintain the facade of slumber.

In the end, Alphinaud got less sleep that night than he ever had shivering in his single tent alone.

The subsequent nights became gradually easier, at least - a fact he was unsure if he should attribute to acclimation, exhaustion, or both. He was grateful for it either way; their journey was an arduous one and the last thing he needed was to get himself killed because he was too distracted lusting after his friend and comrade to sleep properly.

Then came the morning that he woke up with his head, completely inadvertently, pillowed on Estinien’s chest.

The first thing his mind registered upon beginning to awaken was that he was comfortably warm, a sensation he had not been accustomed to as of late. It wasn’t until he opened his eyes that he fully realized the predicament his unconscious mind had placed him in. His immediate reaction was to try to pull away, which led him to another realization - that Estinien’s arm was draped around his shoulders under the top layer of the blankets.

_What is happening?_

Slowly, and as carefully as he could manage, Alphinaud tried to extricate himself. After a bit, he was able to wriggle away enough so that he could sit up, but when he did, he then noticed that Estinien was awake as well, ice-blue eyes regarding him curiously in the early dawn sunlight that filtered through the canvas surrounding them.

Alphinaud froze, and time seemed to stop for a very long moment until his mouth opened to begin babbling out some explanation that his brain hadn’t actually yet begun to process. Before he could make a complete fool of himself, though, Estinien raised one to press a finger to Alphinaud’s lips in a shushing motion.

“It’s early,” he said, his voice a gravelly whisper, “don’t wake the others.”

Alphinaud gaped at him, watching silently as he unwrapped himself from the blankets and exited the tent, more gracefully than anyone had any right to execute an action that was fundamentally a crawl. By the time he’d regained the ability to think straight, Melise was beginning to stir on his other side anyway, and that meant it was nearly time for the day to begin. 

He spent most of the day avoiding Estinien’s gaze and hoping no one would notice, even though he was sure that was a futile endeavor. Eventually, though, the dragoon managed to corner him while Melise and Ysayle were engaged in conversation about upcoming aspects of their adventure. 

“I’m sorry if I’ve overstepped a boundary with my earlier actions.” Estinien was not one to beat around the bush. “For once in my life, at least, I did not mean to cause offense.”

That was certainly not what Alphinaud was expecting to hear, and he stared in shock for an embarrassingly long time, the silence hanging awkwardly between them, before he replied. “I… I’m not offended.”

“You’ve been avoiding me all day.” The statement sounded vaguely confused, but Estinien’s body language relaxed considerably.

_How honest should I be?_ Alphinaud wondered. “I’m simply… well, embarrassed, I suppose. I had no intention of… accosting you in your sleep. When I awoke, I was quite certain I had likely offended _you_ , rather than the opposite.”

Estinien laughed outright at that, clearly relieved, and that was a sound Alphinaud was unsure he’d even heard before. “In that case, rest assured that, on the short list of things that may offend me, having a pretty young man asleep on top of me is most certainly not one.”

Alphinaud found himself gaping silently yet again as he tried to process _that_ statement, which drew another hearty laugh from the dragoon.

“For as talkative as you usually are,” Estinien continued, a smirk visible below the helm of his armor as he reached out to gently stroke the side of Alphinaud’s face with one gloved hand, “it has become rather easy to render you dumbstruck as of late. At any rate, I’m glad we’ve nothing to worry about between us, then.” With that, he strode away, leaving Alphinaud to wonder what exactly had just transpired.

Alphinaud replayed the conversation in his mind as he stared after the man, thoughts racing, skin tingling where Estinien had touched him. _How could I possibly be meant to interpret that besides the obvious?_

That evening, after they’d all squeezed into the tent and extinguished the small lamp, Alphinaud lay in the darkness still pondering that earlier conversation. Estinien had not rebuffed him, had referred to him as ‘pretty’ - and of all available adjectives in their language, why in the name of all the gods did he have to pick _that_ one - and had quite heavily implied he’d enjoyed their close proximity. And then there was the way he’d touched him, far more like a lover than a friend... Perhaps it was time to work up a bit of courage and see what might happen.

Alphinaud took in a deep breath to steel himself and shifted closer to the sphere of body heat beside him. They weren’t far apart to begin with, given the limited space, but his heart jumped into his throat when Estinien moved just enough in response to allow Alphinaud to curl against his side, and moved his arm around Alphinaud’s shoulders in a manner similar to how they’d woken that morning. He smelled like the oil he used to polish his armor, and Alphinaud briefly thought that he should not find that smell nearly as alluring as he did at that moment.

_He must be awake, but does he know that I am as well?_ “Goodnight,” he whispered, barely loud enough to hear himself.

In response, Estinien’s arm pulled him just a bit closer, and he nearly gasped with shock as he felt a soft kiss pressed against the top of his head.

_Oh._

\-----------------------------------------

 

The casual intimacy of their nightly arrangement became Alphinaud’s new normal quickly enough, but as enjoyable as it was, he was certainly not about to refuse when they came across the opportunity to spend a night at an inn. The place was nothing fancy, more of a tavern that happened to have sparsely-furnished rooms to let out to travellers than anything else, but the place offered hot food to eat and hot water to bathe in. The prospect so excited him that he didn’t even consider the other possible implications of private rooms until Estinien pulled him aside.

“I know we’ve not… defined anything, between the two of us,” Estinien said, voice low and subdued, “but should you desire company tonight, do know that I should consider you quite welcome to join me.” 

“Um.” Alphinaud stuttered as he tried to wrap his mind around the meaning of the offer. “And by that you mean…” 

“By that, I mean whatever you would like me to mean.” 

“... Oh,” Alphinaud replied lamely, certain his eyes were the size of saucers. _Could I possibly sound any more stupid right now?_  

Estinien apparently noticed his hesitancy, and quickly continued, “Of course, if you’d rather not, do also feel free to forget I’ve said anything.”

“I…” Alphinaud swallowed thickly, flicking his gaze upwards to meet Estinien’s. “No, no. I will… Consider it.”

He certainly did consider it. In fact, he thought of little else as he deposited his belongings in the small room he’d been assigned, and as he went to bathe, and all throughout their evening meal. Estinien watched him closely as they ate, and the intensity of it made him shiver.

“Alphinaud, you’re rather quiet,” Melise observed. “Is everything all right?”

“Oh yes, just fine,” he replied quickly, perhaps too much so, because she raised an eyebrow curiously at him. “Certain things just weigh heavily on my mind,” he elaborated, before she could ask. 

“Ah. Well, do get a good night’s sleep, then. I find that generally helps with gathering my own thoughts.”

“That’s… Yes. In fact, I believe I’ll turn in now.” Alphinaud stood from the table, trying to keep his nervous energy at bay, as he didn’t care to answer further questions. “Have a pleasant evening.”

“Yourself as well,” Melise replied kindly, and Ysayle offered a polite nod in his direction. Estinien made no such gesture of acknowledgement.

After he had made his way upstairs, Alphinaud stopped briefly in front of the door to his own room in order to beat down the last shreds of doubt in his mind. It wasn’t as though he didn’t _want_ to do this, but he’d never even really had a proper kiss, and now he was going to bed with a man who was certainly much more experienced. The thought was more than a little terrifying, but it also stoked a fire in him that he was definitely not used to. Finally, he kept moving down the hall to the door of Estinien’s room and let himself in to sit on the side of the bed to wait.

Thankfully, he didn’t have to wait terribly long for the other man to arrive, for he was afraid he’d talk himself out of staying given enough time.

“So, you decided to join me,” Estinien observed, flashing a pleased smile in Alphinaud’s direction that made his heart skip a beat. “I wondered, when you left dinner so abruptly.”

“You did invite me, or had you forgotten so quickly?” Alphinaud couldn’t help but feel slightly emboldened by how happy Estinien seemed to be to see him.

“I hadn’t forgotten.” Estinien began to remove some of the remaining plates of his armor. He’d been at dinner without his helm, at least, in deference to the tavernkeep’s desire not to terrify the small number of other patrons. “But I thought that perhaps I’d frightened you off.”

“Not quite.” Alphinaud watched as the armor was removed, piece by piece, until Estinien was standing before him dressed only in the basic underclothing that kept the armor off his skin. It was not an entirely new sight, but he was acutely aware of the difference in context. His shameless staring did not go unnoticed, drawing a chuckle from Estinien.

“Enjoying the view?” He asked, and when Alphinaud blushed and nodded, he continued, “Would you care to indulge me in the same?”

The question shook Alphinaud from his reverie. _You knew taking your clothes off was part of this,_ he reminded himself sharply, and stood from the bed to begin undoing the laces of the tunic and pants that he’d worn after his bath, in lieu of his traveling clothes. He stopped short of removing his smallclothes, as that seemed a bit too forward before they’d even begun anything, and glanced up to find Estinien watching him intently. Suddenly, his heart was threatening to pound its way out of his chest again, and he felt the need to say _something._ “I know I’m likely not especially pleasing to look at,” he began, but Estinien closed the distance between them with a single step to shock him into silence with a quick kiss.

“Don’t say such ridiculous things,” Estinien practically growled, and guided Alphinaud back down onto the bed so that they were half sitting, half lying down, side by side on the thin mattress. “I shall have to show you just how _pleasing_ I find you, if that is what you think.”

Alphinaud had no time to formulate a reply to that before Estinien was kissing him again, one hand against the small of his back pulling him close in a way that twisted up his insides in ways he did not entirely understand. He tried his best to reciprocate the movements of Estinien’s mouth on his, already lost in all the things he was feeling, but when Estinien moved above him to press one muscular thigh between his own, he could do little more than dig his fingers into Estinien’s shoulders and moan helplessly at the friction against his groin.

“Mmm, you are perfectly lovely just like this,” Estinien murmured as he shifted his attentions to kissing and nipping at Alphinaud’s neck. “Regardless of what you may have been led to believe in the past.” He trailed one hand down to the waistband of the thin undershorts Alphinaud still wore and thumbed at the fabric, tented with arousal just ilms from his fingertips. “May I remove these?” 

It took Alphinaud the space of a few breaths to find his voice again. “Only if you will remove your own as well,” he said, hoping it sounded more confident than he felt, but he very much did not want to be the only one fully exposed. 

“Of course.” Estinien sat up enough so that he could quickly shed the remainder of his own clothing, and Alphinaud stared wide-eyed at the sight of him for a too-brief moment before Estinien’s strong hands lifted his hips off the mattress enough to pull his shorts off as well.

The hungry gaze Estinien fixed him with then made Alphinaud’s mouth go dry. _He_ ** _wants_** _me,_ he thought wildly, and while he’d already objectively known that, seeing it was entirely different. All of a sudden, he wanted nothing more than for Estinien to touch him, anywhere, everywhere.

“Beautiful,” Estinien breathed, and bent his head back down to kiss roughly at the side of Alphinaud’s neck, while trailing one hand down his chest to rest flat against his stomach, teasingly close to what he really wanted. 

“Oh,” Alphinaud gasped, “Estinien, please…” He trailed off into a groan as Estinien’s long fingers wrapped around his cock, and his hips rocked upwards into the touch of their own accord. The hand on him felt thoroughly different from his own, bigger and calloused in odd places, and so much more than he’d expected. The feeling of teeth nipping sharply at his collarbone was maddening, and the thick length of Estinien’s cock pressed against his hip, thrilling and a little scary at the same time. “I want…”

“Wait just a moment.” Estinien turned to reach off the side of the bed, rummaging in the pack that was sitting on the floor. “We need… This will do.” He turned back to Alphinaud with a small container in hand. “Likely not the ideal sort of oil for this,” he explained, “but better than nothing.”

“Ah,” Alphinaud said weakly, simply to acknowledge the statement. It wasn’t as though he knew what the ideal sort of oil for this _was_ , and he was decidedly unwilling to share that fact at this point. From the things he’d read on this topic, and what he’d seen and felt of the size of Estinien, it seemed obvious that any sort of lubrication would be preferable to none at all. “How… How do you want me?”

“As you are is fine.” Estinien arranged himself in a kneeling position between Alphinaud’s spread legs. “Bend your knees a bit, that’s it.”

Alphinaud shivered with a mixture of trepidation and excitement as Estinien gently guided him into what was apparently a better position and uncapped the little container to pour a bit of the contents out onto one hand. The first stroke of slick fingers against his hole made him jump, partially from the shock at the strange sensation of being touched there, and partially because the oil was rather cold. He whined quietly, writhing a bit on the sheets as Estinien slowly rubbed more of the oil onto him.

The experience of fingers easing inside his body was strange, not especially pleasurable or painful, just odd and mildly uncomfortable. Briefly, he wondered the appeal of this, if something was wrong with him for not enjoying it more, up until the moment when Estinien’s long fingers brushed against a spot inside that wrung a surprised cry of pleasure from his lips and made his hips arch off the bed seeking more of that contact. “There, do that again,” he gasped desperately.

 “Patience.” Estinien stroked Alphinaud’s hip with his free hand, and Alphinaud noticed then that his face was flushed and his breathing slightly labored, arousal showing through his usually well-controlled demeanor. “You’re going to look so good taking my cock,” he breathed, and punctuated the words with another stroke over that spot inside that made Alphinaud moan as stars exploded behind his eyes.

After a bit longer, and applying some more of the oil, Estinien’s fingers withdrew from his body, leaving an oddly open feeling in their wake. He watched as Estinien applied still more of the oil to his own erection, and the way that his breath hitched as he did so made Alphinaud’s heart skip a beat. Finally, Estinien lifted his hips into a better position to press their bodies together, and a brief moment of panic flashed through him, and he fisted the bedsheets in both hands and screwed his eyes shut. That passed quickly, though, when Estinien leaned down to kiss him hungrily again, all tongue and teeth, almost enough to distract him entirely from the first slow push inside him.

Alphinaud’s hands flew to Estinien’s shoulders again, digging his nails in as he clung to him, breath coming in short, gasping half-sobs as he struggled to process the overwhelming sensation of being stretched open and filled so thoroughly. It wasn’t as painful as he’d expected, moreso than just fingers but not unbearable, but it was just _so much_ , and it seemed to go on forever.

Estinien rested their foreheads together once he stilled, fully inside. “Okay?”

Alphinaud nodded, not trusting his voice to form words, and forced one full breath into his lungs and back out, still clinging to Estinien’s shoulders. The act helped him regain some semblance of control, and so he repeated it, finally able to tilt his head up to kiss Estinien back properly.

“Good.” Estinien’s voice was a low, breathy growl, even rougher than usual. “You feel incredible.” The tone made Alphinaud open his eyes, suddenly wanting to see his face, and the blissful expression of ecstasy he observed there only served to arouse him even more, despite the lingering discomfort he felt.

_I can make him feel like_ **_that_** _?_ The thought made him a bit dizzy, and glad of the firm, grounding embrace he was enveloped in. “You can move,” he managed, forcing the words out, and Estinien kissed him again, demanding and breathless, and began to rock against him in a motion that drew small pleased sounds from both of them. He hiked Alphinaud’s knees up between them before doing it again, and the extra leverage allowed him to thrust a bit deeper.

The new position pressed the length of Estinien’s cock against that spot inside Alphinaud that made him sob with pleasure and rock his hips up to meet each thrust. The initial discomfort he’d been feeling gradually faded as they established a better rhythm, and he was sure he was making too much noise, but he couldn’t bring himself to care. Estinien’s harsh, breathy groans were quieter, muffled against Alphinaud’s neck and collarbone and lips, but they were still the most incredible sounds he had ever heard.

Once it was over and he was thoroughly sated and exhausted, the mess of his own release streaked across his stomach, Estinien lowered his legs back into a more comfortable position and slowly withdrew from him, leaving behind a lingering ache and a warm, sticky sensation that Alphinaud belatedly realized was the evidence of his lover’s pleasure. That was oddly arousing in itself, and he shuddered slightly at the feeling before Estinien settled beside him and wrapped strong arms around him once again, as though he either hadn’t noticed the mess or simply didn’t care.

Alphinaud shifted closer into the embrace and Estinien gave a pleased, contented sigh against his ear. He hadn’t really been sure what to expect for after, if Estinien would want to sleep alone, but he wasn’t going to complain about being held tenderly like this when he still felt so good, no matter how sweaty and sticky it was.

“May I ask you something?” Estinien said softly, after an extended period of comfortable silence.

“Yes?”

“Was that, ah…” There was a moment of hesitation. “Was that your first time?”

_Oh, gods._ Suddenly Alphinaud wanted nothing more than to curl up into a little ball and disappear from existence. He tried to turn and hide his face in the pillows, but couldn’t quite manage it. “Was my inexperience so obvious, then?”

“It’s not a bad thing.” Estinien regarded him curiously. “But why didn’t you say before? I could have been… more gentle, taken more care to get you ready.”

“I must seem like enough of a naive child compared to you as it is,” Alphinaud replied, still trying not to meet Estinien’s gaze directly. “I saw no need to exacerbate that by drawing attention to it.”

Estinien gave a quick, quiet laugh. “For all my teasing, _boy_ ,” he stressed the word with a little smirk on his face, “if I actually thought of you as a child, I’d not have invited you to share my bed. You know your own mind better than many of twice your years. That’s enough for me.”

“... Oh.”

“And I’ll not lecture you on how your first should be special, or with someone you love,” Estinien continued, scoffing. “Gods know mine certainly wasn’t. I’m only concerned. You’ll likely be sore in the morning, you know.”

“I know that.” Alphinaud chewed awkwardly at his lower lip, finally looking Estinien in the eye again. “I’ve… read about it, in books.” That admission did not serve to make him feel any less silly.

“Oh really?” Estinien laughed again. “Are there a great number of books written about this sort of thing?”

Alphinaud was about to give a serious answer, and then realized. “You’re making fun of me.”

“A bit,” Estinien replied, stroking his fingers lightly through Alphinaud’s hair. “But in my defense, you do make it rather easy.”

“Well, in mine, you’ve worn me out too much to think properly.” Alphinaud stifled a yawn, and smiled when Estinien kissed his forehead. 

“Get some sleep, then. I fear we’ve still a long journey ahead, after all.” 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Estinien is forced to confront a great deal of Feelings.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter contains spoilers for certain events in Heavensward.

When Estinien awoke in the Temple Knights’ infirmary, his mind still foggy with the agony and terror of his ordeal with Nidhogg, the first thing he became aware of was that his entire body felt as heavy as stone, and it left him too weak to as much as lift his head from the pillow. The next was the presence of Alphinaud softly sobbing at his bedside, bright blue eyes shining with tears even as his expression shifted to one of unrestrained joy when he realized Estinien was awake. His reaction caused an unpleasantly intense surge of emotion in Estinien’s chest that he was completely unprepared to deal with.

After assuring his colleagues - friends, especially after all they’d been through, he reminded himself - of his intentions, he assumed that would be the end of it. They surely had better things to do than fret over him as he recovered. None of them owed him anything, after all, certainly not after saving his life, and despite the physical relationship he and Alphinaud had previously had, he didn’t expect that the boy would stick around, and he had long since convinced himself that he was fine with that. Those were the thoughts on his mind as he drifted back into an exhausted slumber.

As he slept, his unconscious mind supplied him supplied him with the memories of fire and blood, the vengeance of Nidhogg filling his very soul, pushing him out and forcing him to stare through the window of his own eyes without any authority over his actions, praying to all the gods that the mighty Warrior of Light, at least, would have the strength and the willingness to simply kill him and end it.

He awoke gasping, shaking, with Alphinaud sitting on the edge of the bed, one hand on his shoulder and talking to him. His pulse raced in his ears, and he couldn’t focus. Trying to even push himself into a seated position was futile, despite how desperately he wished to get up from the bed and run far away.

“Estinien,” Alphinaud was repeating his name, and had taken his hand, and he tried to focus on that and get his breathing under control. “Estinien, you’ve just had a dream, it’s all right.”

“I’m fine,” he said gruffly, struggling again to sit up even though he was still trembling. “I’m just sick and tired of lying in this bed.”

“You’ve got to rest,” Alphinaud replied, but reached out to help him sit upright and arranged the pillow behind his back so he could lean somewhat comfortably against the headboard. At Estinien’s scowl, he continued, “I’d never have guessed you’d be a terrible patient,” with a hint of sarcasm in his voice. “Would you like anything to eat? We’ve had supper some time ago, but I’m sure I could have someone bring up a tray.”

Estinien’s stomach turned just at the thought of food at that moment, and he shook his head. “No. Don’t trouble yourself.”

“How about a cup of water? Or I could make some tea?” Alphinaud was practically vibrating, he noticed, and he knew the boy well enough to know it meant he wanted to be _doing something._

“I suppose I’d not object to a cup of tea,” Estinien replied, “especially since it would give you something to do other than sit here and worry like an old woman.” He attempted a smirk in Alphinaud’s direction, and Alphinaud rolled his eyes in response.

“I think I’m entitled to worry after all that’s happened,” Alphinaud said with a huff, but he went to put a kettle of water over the fireplace and rummage for other supplies in a cabinet. Watching Alphinaud go about mundane chores had always been a pleasure for Estinien while they’d been on the road together, and he was perfectly content to sit and do so now.

By the time that Alphinaud sat back down next to him, this time dragging a small wooden chair over instead of sitting on the bed, the mere act of remaining upright was already making him feel fatigued. Even so, the last thing he wanted was to spend any further time asleep, and he gratefully accepted the mug of tea in hopes that perhaps it would help wake him up. The first few sips did help to invigorate him somewhat, as did the brush of Alphinaud’s hand against his own as he handed it over.

The pair sat in a comfortable silence for a while, but Estinien couldn’t help but wonder why it was so much harder than it used to be for him to write off his affections as simply enjoying the company an attractive young man. Admittedly, if he was truthful with himself, Alphinaud had meant more than that to him for quite some time, but it wasn’t as though he was unused to denying himself the luxury of emotional investment in other people. It had to be the psychological strain he’d been under, he decided.

The obvious fact that Alphinaud seemed to genuinely care for him as well certainly didn’t help matters. He’d never been sure before, not really. The boy had been curiously fascinated with him, found him attractive for some reason, those things he knew. But now, faced with this doting affection and insistence on caring for him, well. No one acted that way towards an acquaintance whom they were simply bedding for fun, did they? Certainly not in his experience.

“Tell me about what you’re reading,” Estinien said abruptly, mostly to change his own train of thought and also because he wanted Alphinaud to stop simply _looking_ at him as though he were something ephemeral.

“What?” Alphinaud followed his gaze to the open book left on the desk, seemingly confused at the request. “Oh, that. It’s just an account of Ishgardian history. Ser Aymeric offered me some things to read from the library, so as to occupy my time while I sat with you.”

“You needn’t feel obligated to stay, you know.” Estinien tried to lean over to place his empty mug on the floor by the bed, but Alphinaud reached out to take it from him instead. “If I required constant care, the staff here would do what was necessary. I’m certain you must have better things to do.”

“Not especially. Melise and Tataru are more than capable of taking care of what needs to be done right now.” Alphinaud paused for a moment, looking just a bit forlorn. “But, if you’d prefer to be free of me, I would oblige.”

Estinien had to resist the strong urge to pull him into his arms. “Don’t be ridiculous. I find your company quite pleasant.” He had to stop to yarn into his forearm, still feeling much less awake than he’d prefer, but the bright smile that took over Alphinaud’s expression was heartening. “I just wouldn’t want you to neglect any necessary duties on my account.”

“Well, I haven’t.” There was a brief silence before Alphinaud spoke again. “You should get some more sleep. It’s fairly late, and perhaps you’ll feel a bit stronger in the morning.”

As much as Estinien wanted to object, he knew that was likely true. According to the healers, nothing was physically wrong with him, he only needed rest to deplete his severely drained energy. Even so, the prospect of sleep was thoroughly unappealing.

“Aye,” he finally agreed, “and perhaps come morning, I’ll feel more like having a meal as well.”

“I’ll make sure to fetch breakfast from the kitchens, then.” Alphinaud gave another little smile and helped him lie back down, moving the pillow back under his head and tucking the covers around him. “I can put out the lamp and read by the fire instead.” He moved to do that, and Estinien reached out to grasp his wrist to stop him.

“I…” Estinien began, and stopped, feeling utterly pathetic for what he wanted to say. “Or you could lie down with me for a while. If you wanted.” He hoped that did not come off as sounding as silly as he felt, like a child afraid of the dark or the monsters under the bed.

A confused look flashed across Alphinaud’s face or a moment before one of understanding replaced it. “Of course. In fact, I’m a bit tired myself. Just give me a moment…”

Estinien was fairly certain that was untrue and that he had planned to stay up and read for some time, but he wasn’t going to say anything. He waited as Alphinaud extinguished the small lamp burning on the windowsill and removed his outer layer of clothing so that he was dressed only in his linen smallclothes.

“Don’t look at me like that,” Alphinaud said, lightly chiding, and Estinien knew he must have stared a bit too long at how his long legs looked in the light from the fireplace. “We’re just going to sleep.”

“A man can admire something beautiful without being lecherous,” he murmured as Alphinaud slid between the sheets, giving an amused snort at his words, and curled up against his side, warm and comforting.

The next morning was significantly more pleasant than Estinien’s previous experience with waking up. The sunlight from the windows illuminated the room, warming it despite the burnt-out fire. It had to be well past dawn to be so bright. Alphinaud was draped over him, one leg over his hips, an arm across his chest, and warm breaths slowly exhaling against his shoulder. An appetizing smell also permeated the room, and he assumed someone had taken it upon themselves to bring them breakfast. That made his stomach growl, but he didn’t really want to move. Hungry as he was, he wouldn’t starve anytime soon, finding it preferable to simply watch his young lover sleep.

Thankfully for his stomach, though, it wasn’t all that long before Alphinaud began to stir, shifting restlessly for a moment before his eyes blinked open. A sleepy grin spread across his face when he noticed Estinien watching him, and he tilted his head up for a kiss, which wasn’t an offer Estinien wanted to pass up.

“Mmm, good morning,” Alphinaud said softly, making no effort to move from his current position. “How did you sleep?”

 _Always better with you in my arms,_ he thought, but shoved that overly emotional sentiment back into the recesses of his mind at once. “Very well,” he replied instead. “In fact, I did not even notice who brought our breakfast, or when.”

“What?” Alphinaud turned and glanced over at the large tray resting on the desk, and his face flushed red. “Oh gods, that means someone saw us in bed together -”

“Sleeping,” Estinien interrupted, before the boy could work himself into a tizzy over it, “which is no great scandal, I assure you.” He’d been the subject of gossip in more indecent tales than that in his younger years, not that he cared to share any of those.

Alphinaud screwed his eyes shut for a moment and sighed heavily, and then sat up. “Well, I suppose there’s nothing for it now,” he said, and rose from the bed to fetch the tray of food.

Whoever had brought it must have guessed that they were feeding two people, for there were two plates and two mugs. It hadn’t yet gone completely cold, not that it mattered either way as far as Estinien was concerned. If he had to guess, their visitor had been Melise. She was damnably perceptive in a variety of ways, and she had probably assumed Alphinaud, at least, would have been awake much earlier, as he usually was. She had also long since guessed that something was going on between the two of them - Alphinaud preferred much more discretion with regard to the more intimate nature of their relationship than he had any regard for, but there was no keeping a secret from the Warrior of Light. Of course, Estinien knew she considered Alphinaud too close of a friend to embarrass him, but she had no problems whatsoever with shooting a knowing look in Estinien’s own direction from time to time. Sometimes, he wondered exactly what she thought of the whole thing, because she was certainly not the type to say, and he was not the type to ask.

Not long after they’d finished eating, the medical staff returned, and Estinien begrudgingly allowed them to check him over, hemming and hawing and fussing about as healers and chirurgeons always did. After far too long, they came to the conclusion that his condition had improved enough to get out of bed, and when he had accomplished that feat, they permitted him to try walking the length of the room. That was only a bit more taxing than he expected, and of course Alphinaud looked terribly worried the entire time.

“Now that I’m no longer confined to bed,” Estinien announced once they’d gone, “I’d very much like to go down to the baths and have a proper wash.” He sat down on the edge of the bed and rolled his neck so that his spine cracked loudly. “All this lying around has made feel as though I am one hundred years old.”

Alphinaud winced at the sound, brow still furrowed with concern. “That’s rather ambitious given the distance, but somehow I doubt I’ll be able to talk you out of it.”

“I must admit, I’m surprised you aren’t trying to.” He stretched again, this time causing a sharp popping sound in his shoulder. “Will you feel better about the idea if I rest until after lunch first?”

The grateful smile Alphinaud gave him in return was worth doing nothing for a little while longer.

 

\- - - - - -

 

The baths were not especially elaborate, just a room of carved stone pools constantly being refreshed with a flow of comfortably heated water, with dividers installed between them for privacy. Despite that, as well as the fact that the pools were empty of other people in the middle of the afternoon, Alphinaud had refused Estinien’s request to join him with an exasperated sigh, and instead gone off to speak with Melise. That left Estinien alone with a towel, a change of clothes, and his own thoughts for company.

The heat of the water did wonders for the aches in his stiff neck and tired muscles, but nothing to alleviate the worries on his mind. His troublesome _feelings_ with regard to Alphinaud weren’t even the most of it, as maddening as that was.

He would no longer carry the mantle of being Ishgard’s Azure Dragoon. The mission of vengeance that had consumed so many years of his life was, for all intents and purposes, over. Nidhogg had been vanquished, the Eyes lost to the abyss of the Sea of Clouds, and as much as he would have preferred to see them destroyed by his own hand, venturing there was not within his mortal capabilities.

Iceheart’s sacrifice still weighed heavily upon his mind - they’d had so much conflict with each other, at first, but how alike they had turned out to be in the end. She had gone willingly to death for a greater cause, something he understood perfectly. _Perhaps there’s not so much to be said for allowing oneself to be consumed by the past._ And now, thanks primarily to Alphinaud’s stubbornness, it seemed he would have to learn how to look to a new future.

In doing so, taking stock of the new, fragile peace in his nation that so many had given their lives to help achieve, it seemed that so much would change. While he trusted Aymeric would be up to the task of keeping order in this new status quo - and he had no doubt that his friend would end up stuck in a position of leadership whether the man desired it or not - he could not help but wonder where his own place in it should be. With any luck, there would be no more need for his considerable skills in combat.

 _Well, I suppose someone, somewhere, will always have a war to fight._ That was a sobering thought. The life of a traveling adventurer was not anything Estinien had ever aspired to, but perhaps he could find something beneficial to do, somewhere, given the chance.

He sighed heavily and slid further down into the water so that it was all the way up to his chin, and leaned his head back against the stone ledge. Clearing his mind seemed like such an insurmountable task. There would be time for it later, he decided.

 

\- - - - - -

 

Later on, after Estinien had insisted on walking the grounds of the infirmary, and they’d shared a hearty supper, simple conversation was the pastime of choice back in his room. Alphinaud had plenty to say, sharing the details of his conversations with Melise and Tataru, and he talked until the sky outside the window had begun to grow dark.

For the most part, Estinien was happy just to listen to his voice, but as he went on about Melise’s plans, it served to remind Estinien once again of the fact that sooner or later, the Warrior and her companions - Alphinaud included - would move on from their days in Ishgard. The world needed its heroes, after all.

A break in the conversation came when Alphinaud stood from his chair to light the lamp at the windowsill and add more wood to the fire, and Estinien decided he’d much rather spend the rest of the evening occupied with something a bit more pleasant than idle words and his own lingering thoughts about what would come with the future.

“Come sit here with me,” he suggested, patting next to him where he was once again sitting stretched out on the bed. “You know perfectly well I will only bite if you’d like me to.”

Alphinaud blushed, but did as he asked. “You just want to try to seduce me, since I wouldn’t bathe with you.”

“Perhaps so.” Estinien slid an arm around his waist and pulled him slightly closer. “Have you an objection to that?” He leaned in to press a soft kiss to Alphinaud’s neck, just below his ear, and smiled at the resulting shiver.

“We shouldn’t,” Alphinaud murmured, and gave a soft sigh when Estinien did it again. “You’re still meant to be taking it easy…”

“I feel perfectly fine.” Estinien’s hand slid under the back of Alphinaud’s tunic to rest against the bare skin at the small of his back. “I assure you, a bit of exertion will do me no harm.” He cupped Alphinaud’s face in his other hand and kissed him, lingering just long enough for Alphinaud’s lips to part slightly and begin to reciprocate. “Won’t you please indulge me?” He whispered, sultry, as he pulled away.

Alphinaud gave a shaky sigh. “Let me put the latch on the door,” he said, and got up from the bed. “And… see if there’s anything we can use.”

Estinien gave a vague noise of acknowledgement and settled into a more comfortable position to wait until Alphinaud scrambled back onto the bed to lay next to him, a small bottle of massage oil from the cabinet in hand. He took it from him and tucked it under the pillow. “For now, I have other things in mind, if that’s all right…”

“Oh, so you’re going to tease me, then?” Alphinaud’s voice turned to a breathy sigh as Estinien began to lavish attention on his neck again, kissing and sucking and nipping at the sensitive spots he was so familiar with by now. “Ah - oh, Estinien, people will see…”

“I’m not leaving any marks,” he murmured against the soft skin under his lips. As much as he’d like to, he knew better, given Alphinaud’s preference for discretion. “You’re just lovely, the way my mouth on you excites you so much…” He punctuated the words with another little nip of his teeth at the juncture of Alphinaud’s neck and shoulder, and smiled at the soft moan that earned him.

It took little effort to divest Alphinaud of his shirt, and he wanted little more than to kiss and touch every ilm of him. He was flushed pink all the way down his neck, and looking down at him, Estinien briefly wondered what deeds he’d done in a past life to deserve such a gift in this one.

He quickly banished that thought from his mind and resumed kissing his way down Alphinaud’s body, running his hands lightly over the expanse of pale skin before following with his lips and tongue, each little gasp and whimper encouraging him even more.

“Estinien…” His name coming from Alphinaud’s lips in that needy tone sent a pulsing ache of arousal through him. “Oh, please…”

“You know,” he murmured, “I would not tease you so much if it were not quite so easy.” In a well-practiced motion, he lifted Alphinaud’s slim hips from the bed far enough to quickly remove his pants and smallclothes together. Alphinaud blushed even further as Estinien gazed down at him, all the way down to his stomach, and even lower where the evidence of his arousal was quite apparent. A bead of fluid leaked from the tip of his erection, and Estinien bent down to flick his tongue over it, yearning for a taste of him.  

Alphinaud moaned as his back arched off the mattress, seeking more, and Estinien was happy to oblige. He held Alphinaud’s slim hips still and took him deeply into his mouth, bobbing his head until he had taken in the entire length, greedy for every noise of pleasure he could wring from him after how long it had been since they’d last been together. The volume and frequency of those beautiful noises increased the longer Estinien went on, and they served only to encourage him, as did the way Alphinaud’s hands tangled in his hair as he worked.

“Ah, gods,” Alphinaud gasped out, “if you keep that up, I’ll finish before we can even…” He trailed off into a breathy groan as Estinien’s mouth pulled off his cock. “I’d rather you have me properly.”

“Oh, really?” Estinien asked coyly, despite the fact that his own arousal was eager for some attention. “Well, if you insist, I suppose you ought to hand me that oil.”

“I do hope you were planning on getting undressed first.” Alphinaud reached to tug at the shoulder of the tunic he still wore. “I feel as though you simply like having me on display like this.”

“Of course I do.” Estinien chuckled lightly, but quickly removed his own clothing all the same, discarding the items on the floor next to Alphinaud’s. “Why wouldn’t I, when it makes you blush and stammer so?”

“That’s only because of how you _look_ at me,” Alphinaud protested, but apparently he was satisfied with Estinien’s nakedness, for he handed over the small bottle regardless. “Like a man lost in the desert looking at a spring of fresh water…”

Estinien opted not to comment on what an apt comparison that felt like. Instead, he set about drizzling some of the oil from the container onto his fingers before he reached down between Alphinaud’s legs to prepare him.

Alphinaud’s soft cries and the way he writhed on Estinien’s fingers were utterly intoxicating every time, and by now, he knew exactly all the ways to drive him mad with ecstasy even before their coupling, even if it did mean spending a little more time on the preparations than was strictly necessary. Patience may not be a virtue he possessed all the time, but when it came to this, waiting a bit longer for the sake of his lover’s pleasure was not an arduous task.

It didn’t take terribly long before Alphinaud was all but begging for it, any worries of anyone overhearing obviously forgotten. “Ah - Estinien, get _on_ with it, already,” he whined, and Estinien smirked at the needy tone.

“You’ve no patience at all…” He was teasing, yes, but he withdrew his fingers anyway and grabbed the container of oil from the sheets to quickly apply some of it to himself with a few strokes of the same hand, while Alphinaud watched him eagerly with a heated gaze. Finally, he shifted the both of them around so that he could line his aching cock up at Alphinaud’s entrance, and began to push slowly into the tight warmth of his body.

A low groan escaped Estinien’s throat once he was fully inside, certain that he was trembling with the intensity of it, and Alphinaud’s legs wrapped around his waist as if to hold him there. This always felt so _perfect_ , and he leaned down to steal a kiss from Alphinaud’s parted lips, waiting a moment for both of their sakes before he began to move.

The sharp gasp and the the way Alphinaud’s hips bucked off the sheets when they found the right angle was obvious. “Oh, just like that…” His nails dragged streaks of heat down Estinien’s back, urging him on.

“Mmm, that’s what you wanted?” He breathed the words against Alphinaud’s ear, snapping his hips forward at the same angle again, drawing another cry of pleasure from him.

“Yes, please -” Alphinaud’s head leaned back on the pillow as he moved against the increasingly deeper thrusts into his body, and Estinien couldn’t resist lowering his mouth to nip at the sensitive skin of his neck once again.

Words seemed superfluous after that, the sounds of gasping breaths and keening whines in between desperate kisses were more than enough as they moved together, chasing greater heights of shared pleasure.

Estinien’s heart pounded in his chest, and whether it was from the exertion of the act or the overwhelming emotions he felt when he glanced down at the blissful expression on Alphinaud’s face, he was unsure. It didn’t matter, though, because Alphinaud’s little moans were reaching the higher pitch they always did when he was close - something he’d been terribly embarrassed of in their early days, until Estinien had managed to reassure him that he found it incredibly arousing.

It took only a few strokes of Estinien’s hand slipped between their bodies before Alphinaud was crying out his name like a prayer in the throes of climax, and not much longer before his own release followed. When his senses had at least partially returned to him, he tried to lift his weight up off his lover’s body, but Alphinaud pulled him close again and kissed him with a lingering tenderness that made him wonder for a moment if it would be possible to stay just like that forever.

Eventually, though, he did have to extricate himself from that position, settling back onto the mattress and pulling Alphinaud comfortably against his side. They both were a bit of a mess, between the sweat and the oil and other things, but he felt suddenly as though he needed to hold him close in the same way that he needed air. Alphinaud didn’t seem to mind, and tucked his head against Estinien’s shoulder, right over his still-pounding heart.

Estinien sighed and shut his eyes, listening to Alphinaud’s breathing and trying to process his thoughts. The silence was broken a short while later, though, when Alphinaud sniffled quietly, as though he were crying.

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing.” Alphinaud shook his head against Estinien’s shoulder and gave another little sniffle. “It’s just that, I wanted to say…” He hesitated, looking up to meet Estinien’s gaze with eyes that were damp with tears and full of a depth of emotions that made Estinien feel like a fist had reached into his chest and squeezed a death grip around his heart. “I… I am just very happy that you’re all right.” From his tone and his expression, those was clearly _not_ the words he had wanted to say.

 _I love you too_ , Estinien’s mind supplied in response to the unspoken phrase, before he could even process what he was thinking, and it was thoroughly terrifying. That was not something he’d ever even wanted to say to a lover, and it took a moment before he could come up with something else to say that wouldn’t make him sound like a fool.

“Oh, no more of that, you’ve gotten yourself worked up over me more than enough.” It came out more gruffly than he’d intended, but Alphinaud laughed weakly at his rude tone anyway.

“I’m sorry. You must be rather sick of how… emotional I’ve been.”

Truthfully, he wasn’t. In that moment, he actually felt rather certain that he would never be, that he would very much prefer to stay right there with Alphinaud in his arms for as long as possible, tears or no, and to share all these feelings that were so terribly unfamiliar, knowing that they’d likely be reciprocated in words far more eloquent than his own.

None of those things were anything he could say, not even if he had any idea how to begin, so he tightened his embrace and pressed a kiss to Alphinaud’s hair as he tried his best to calm his racing pulse and swirling thoughts. “You worry too much,” he said, finally, for lack of anything else.

Despite the feeling of of Alphinaud’s soft, comforting warmth pressed against him, sleep did not come easily.

 

\- - - - - -

The room was terribly cold when Alphinaud awoke. The only light came from the window, just barely dawn outside, for the lamp had been extinguished and the fire had burned itself out. It took him only a moment to realize the bed was empty save for himself, and he sat up, rubbing his eyes, to look around. His clothing from the previous night had been picked up from the floor and draped over the wooden chair, but there was no sign of Estinien. Panic rose in his chest as he wondered what could have possibly happened while he slept, and he all but leapt up from the bed to dress himself, ready to do something, anything, not that he was sure what that would be.

It was then that he noticed the folded piece of roughly torn parchment left on the desk that hadn’t been there the previous night. His hand trembled as he reached to pick it up.

Printed in scratchy, slanted handwriting, were the words _I’m sorry._


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Estinien receives a bit of a wake-up call from the Warrior of Light herself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was originally going to be the start of a larger chapter, but I think it works as a little interlude of sorts.
> 
> This means I've increased the expected chapter count. It also means I might wait for the next story patch before I figure out where this is gonna go... But maybe not.

Estinien found the Azim Steppe rather idyllic, with its endless rolling grasslands and temperate climate. A bit of important business had brought him there, but he had half a mind to stay for a while once that was done. The place was certainly more pleasant than the sweltering hot weather and rocky landscape of Gyr Abania, at any rate.

It had absolutely _nothing_ to do with the fact that he’d heard through local gossip that the Warrior of Light and her companions had arrived in Doma once again, now that Ala Mhigo had no more pressing need of their presence at the time.

Nothing at all.

Even knowing that, he was shocked to run into Melise while carrying out the tasks he’d come to the Steppe to complete. He had to admit that her aid proved invaluable, as always, but once the job was done, he knew she would likely have words for him, and he was right.

“Before you disappear to gods know where again, I do suppose I owe you some thanks,” Melise said, before he could make his escape, “as we’d have had a much harder time assaulting Castrum Abania without your aid in destroying that damned cannon. Incapacitating industrial weapons is not a primary part of my skill set, after all.”

Estinien turned to face her, raising an eyebrow at that. “I’d pretend that I don’t know what you’re talking about, but I don’t believe it would convince you.”

“Oh, please.” Melise gave a short, barking laugh. “When the scouts’ reports came in, telling of a man of your description sabotaging the bloody thing with a single spectacular maneuver, there was no doubt in my mind. Nor in Alphinaud’s, by the way.” She shot him an annoyed look. “It got his hopes up that we might see you.”

 _He still wants to see me, after all this time?_ Estinien’s heart clenched in his chest, and he stayed quiet for a moment, watching her as she clearly waited for him to say something. Finally, he replied, “Will you tell him you’ve seen me here?”

“Why would I?” Melise spoke calmly, but there was an unmistakable biting tone to her words. “So I can watch him hope for your return, only to be disappointed once again? He’s a much more forgiving person than I am, for if it were I whom you left in such a manner, I’d be quite glad to be rid of you. But no, he’d hear no unkind word about you even that same day, and believe me, I had plenty of them to say.”

The bluntness of her words made Estinien wince slightly. “I never meant to hurt him.”

“I’m certain you didn’t.” She scoffed. “But I’ve known plenty of men in my lifetime, Estinien, and you’re no different. As soon as you lot catch _feelings_ for someone, as soon as it’s more than just a tumble in the sheets, you run away frightened. Perhaps you’ve done so more spectacularly than most, I’ll grant that, but given the circumstances surrounding your departure, I suppose that’s to be expected as well.”

“I…” Estinien sighed, shaking his head. “It was not that simple.”

“Oh, what nonsense.” Melise stepped closer to him, still regarding him intently. “Aymeric told us all about how you’ve always been like this, using solitude and distance to deal with your problems, but I would have guessed without his input. If all you needed to work out was getting your mind back together after Nidhogg’s influence, we’d have heard from you before now. Linkpearls aren’t hard to obtain, and the moogle post delivers damned near everywhere.”

Estinien met her sharp gaze for a moment, and looked down at the grass by his feet. Her accurate evaluation of his motivations was disconcerting. “I didn’t think he would want to hear from me. Not after how I left.”

“Well, he does,” she replied simply. “Love makes people stupid, and he would forgive you anything, I think.”

A long silence hung between them as he processed her words. Finally, she turned as though to leave, before turning back for another moment.

“If you should care to get your head out of your arse, we’ve made our ‘home base,’ if you will, at the Ruby Bazaar in Kugane. But I’m sure you already knew that.”

And with that, she strode away, leaving Estinien standing alone with his thoughts once again.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I took some things from a couple of Tales From The Storm side stories for details in this fic, most notably "From Azure Ashes" and a bit from "A Calm After the Storm." You don't have to go read them but I think they're mostly pretty good!
> 
> Also, it took me a LOT longer than I intended to get this chapter done. I wrote it and re-wrote it and edited it and re-wrote it again... Sorry about that! 4.4 was useless to me story-wise, so maybe 4.5 will help with what I want to do next...

Alphinaud thought nothing of it when he returned to his room one evening to find a vase of flowers in the upper corner of his desk. Tataru did like to make their rooms more homey when she could, so he simply presumed it had been her doing. The flowers were an unusual sort that he hadn’t seen in Kugane before, but even so, it wasn’t as though he had spent a great deal of time looking at flowers.

The next odd thing to appear on his desk, after two more days had passed, was a box of sweets that he liked to buy from a tea shop in the markets on occasion - round cakes made of sweet rice flour, filled with a fruit jelly in the center. Unlike anything he’d been used to back home, the treat was one of his few guilty pleasures, and he couldn’t imagine who would bother to leave them for him. Alisaie looked at him like he was crazy when he asked her about it, and Melise seemed to find his confusion rather funny.

“Perhaps you’ve a secret admirer,” she remarked, and he rolled his eyes.

At the end of the week, a third object appeared that finally served to shed some light on things - a palm-sized wooden carving of a carbuncle, detailed so finely that the little red jewel on its forehead was a stone set into the wood, rather than colored with dye. To Alphinaud’s knowledge, none of his companions had taken up woodcarving as a hobby… But he certainly had no problem remembering all the nights on the road through Dravania that Estinien had spent next to the campfire, whittling this or that out of spare bits of wood. His heart nearly jumped from his chest at the thought.

It felt like several lifetimes had passed since the last night he’d spent with the man in Ishgard. He’d stayed busy enough to avoid dwelling on it, of course, but as more and more time had gone by, that night had come to feel increasingly like a goodbye in his memories. He’d especially resigned himself to that after Estinien had never turned up in Ala Mhigo, after the dragoon’s part in the fighting had become known.

 _So… Why should be be here, now, after so long?_ Alphinaud wondered, turning the small figure over in his hands. _And why so gods-be-damned cryptic about it?_

Alphinaud’s considerable investigative efforts the next day turned up nothing, with no ne he asked willing to say they’d seen anyone of Estinien’s description. Kugane was a generally pleasant place, but sometimes he wished its citizens were a bit more prone to gossip. Even the ladies in the market, usually talkative, had little more comment than _Oh, but there are such a great number of foreign adventurers in the city these days, so I couldn’t possibly say!_ The art of obfuscation was one he was quite familiar with, but that made it no less troublesome coming from others.

So, when he sat down at the supper table that evening, companionable silence wasn’t what he was looking for. “Have you heard from Estinien?” He asked without preamble in Melise’s general direction.

“Who?” Alisaie asked from around a mouthful of food, before she could answer.

“Oh, he was one of our allies when we were in Ishgard,” Tataru supplied helpfully. “Master Alphinaud became quite close friends with him, as I recall.”

“Ah, right,” Alisaie replied, the confused look clearing from her face. “I remember now, the man who you’d said had become like a brother to you.”

Melise gave an undignified snort of laughter at that. “I’m not certain that was an entirely honest description on Alphinaud’s part… Not unless your family is quite different than most.” She arched one eyebrow suggestively, and Alisaie's expression quickly changed to one of understanding.

“Oh! So _that’s_ why you were in such a strop in Ala Mhigo after all the fighting was done, then!”

Alphinaud scowled, cheeks burning, and pointedly ignored his sister’s commentary. “I’ll ask again, then, if you’ve heard from him.”

“Why do you think I would have?” Melise’s tone turned more serious, finally. “I’d hope he’d rather contact you than I.”

Alphinaud took the little carving of the carbuncle from his jacket pocket and placed it on top of the table. “I found this left on my desk, and I can’t imagine who else would have made such a thing, much less snuck into my room in secret to leave it for me.”

Melise’s face remained as impassive as usual. “Well,” she said slowly, “I’ve not heard from him since I ran into him on my last trip out to the Azim Steppe.”

“You’ve _seen_ him?!” Alphinaud was certain if he was any more shocked he would be lifting his own jaw off the floor. “Were you ever planning to mention that, then?”

“I wasn’t.” Melise calmly lifted her cup from the table to sip her tea, holding eye contact with Alphinaud. “I did tell him to pull his stubborn head out of his arse and come visit, so perhaps he’s finally chosen to take my advice.”

Alphinaud watched in stunned silence as she picked up the wooden carbuncle from the table to look more closely at it.

“This is really nicely done,” she continued after a moment, and set the figure back down on the table. “It’s amazing, really, as I’d never take a man like Estinien for being especially artistic. The little bit of coral for the gemstone is especially clever, there’s so much of it out there that it only makes sense to use it…”

“What?” Alphinaud snatched the carving back up to see what she was talking about. Surely enough, the little red stone was actually textured just like all the bits of coral that washed up on the shore of the Ruby Sea just outside Kugane. Local artisans used it in many of their crafts, and suddenly he wondered how he’d failed to notice that detail before.

_Of course, he wouldn’t be staying in the city…_

  


\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

  


The glow of the sunset over the gleaming waters of the Ruby Sea was a pleasant sight to end each day, not that Estinien was overly bothered with such things. Since the completion of his work in the Steppe, he’d floundered about with the knowledge that Alphinaud still missed him, wondering how in all the hells to deal with this situation he’d created with his own cowardice and indecision, and ended up in Kugane.

Just showing up and shoehorning himself back into the boy’s life was out of the question, regardless of what the blessed Warrior of Light had to say about it. It didn’t seem fair, not after how he’d left, and so he’d come to the conclusion to stay close by and drop hints here and there. Alphinaud was a smart young man, and if he really did still want to see Estinien, he would surely come looking. If not, well, Estinien would eventually move on and find something else to do, perhaps just return to helping from the shadows as he could, and that would be that.

In the meantime, a fire pit dug just above the high tide line and his bedroll laid out in the shelter of a nearby cave were all he needed to get by. He’d spent longer times in worse places.

He was so engrossed in his thoughts and musings as he finished up his usual supper of grilled fish that he nearly didn’t hear the sound of approaching footsteps, muffled by the sand. Just as the noise registered in his consciousness, and he moved to reach for his spear on the ground beside him -

“Estinien!”

And when he looked up to see Alphinaud there, looking just as fine as ever, it felt for a moment as though time had stopped and he’d entirely forgotten how to breathe. The concept of speech eluded him as well, even as Alphinaud closed the rest of the distance between them.

“By the Twelve, Estinen, you could have just knocked on the door and asked for me, you know,” Alphinaud said, exasperated but smiling. “I’ve asked all over the city after you!” After a long moment of silence hung between them, he added, tentatively, “You are… pleased to see me, I hope?”

“Yes,” Estinien replied quickly, probably too quickly, but he hadn’t thought through this part of the plan at all. _Should I hug him? Kiss him? No, no, that’s far too presumptuous…_ He took a breath and cleared his throat awkwardly. “Yes. Very much so.”

“I’m glad.” Alphinaud’s smile widened slightly. “May I sit? I’d very much like to hear what you’ve been up to that’s brought you all the way out here. I’d offer to tell you my tales in return, of course, but I’m sure you’ve kept informed, as our exploits are no great secret…”

“You mean how you, your sister, and the Warrior of Light have helped liberate two nations from Imperial rule?” Estinien gestured for the sand beside him for Alphinaud to sit, as requested, glad to be wearing his armor as a shield against the sudden close proximity. “Yes, I do believe everyone in the world has heard of that. I’m afraid I’ve nothing so interesting to share.”

“Well, I should still like to hear about it nonetheless.”

Alphinaud sounded so earnest that Estinien couldn’t refuse, and so he began to tell the tales of his journeys since leaving Ishgard. His pilgrimage of sorts to the ruins of his home village, his visit to the grave of Lord Haurchefant, and how he’d gone to Azys Lla to pay tribute to Ysayle’s memory. He spoke of how he’d come by his new set of armor at Sohr Khai and the words of Hraesvelgr that accompanied it. And, although he knew Alphinaud had been aware of his presence there, he explained how he’d come to be in Ala Mhigo to finally destroy the Eyes once and for all, so that their power could never be used again.

As he talked, Alphinaud reached out to take his hand, startling him momentarily in spite of the barrier his gloved gauntlet created. Thankfully, he avoided showing any outward sign. _You are not a damned schoolboy_ , he admonished himself silently, even as Alphinaud’s adoring gaze made his heart beat faster.

Estinien was just finishing the story of why he’d been in the Azim Steppe when Alphinaud began to unfasten the mechanism under his forearm that held his gauntlet in place and gently tugged it off so that they were holding hands skin to skin instead. The gesture felt oddly intimate for how simple it was, and it occurred to him that he didn’t remember the last time he’d touched another person. He trailed off into silence, unsure of what else to say.

After several moments, Alphinaud spoke once more. “You’ve not mentioned exactly why it is you left,” he said, seeming to pick his words carefully. “I’d worried perhaps it was because… my displays of sentimentality were more than you cared to tolerate.”

“No,” Estinien answered, once again too quickly, and he knew it, but couldn’t bring himself to do anything about that. “I had many reasons, and I cannot claim now that they were all _good_ reasons, but that was not one of them.”

“Ah,” Alphinaud murmured, and after another brief moment, lifted Estinien’s hand to gently kiss the spiderweb of old scars across his knuckles.

Estinien’s breath caught in his throat as soft, damp lips caressed his skin. Alphinaud was the only person living who knew how he’d come by those particular scars - not in any glorious combat, but simply from slamming his hand against a tree while sledding with his brother as a child. _I should have known I loved him when I began to tell him things like that…_

“In that case…” Alphinaud’s eyes flicked upwards to meet Estinien’s gaze, sending an involuntary shudder through him. “I had hoped that, perhaps… we might continue as we were before?”

“That is really what you want? After as long as I’ve been away?” Estinien’s voice came out as barely more than a whisper.

Alphinaud gave a quick, enthusiastic nod. “Of course it is… I’ve missed you so very much.”

Estinien reached out with his other, still-gloved hand to stroke the side of Alphinaud’s face tenderly, and smiled a bit at the way he leaned into the touch. “In that case, I couldn’t possibly deny you,” he said lightly, trying his best not to sound as emotional as he felt, and leaned down slightly to press a chaste kiss to Alphinaud’s lips.

He’d intended it to stay that way, but Alphinaud surged up to meet him eagerly, climbing into his lap as they kissed again and again, hand-holding abandoned in favor of throwing his arms over Estinien’s shoulders to press against his armor. In return, Estinien slid his bare hand under the back of Alphinaud’s shirt, holding it against the soft skin at the small of his back, and the low, pleased sound that it drew from him was absolutely perfect.

“You ought to come back to the city with me,” Alphinaud said, breathless, when they finally broke apart for air. “I’ve a perfectly comfortable bed..”

“Mm, that’s more forward that I remember from you,” Estinien said, and he was rewarded with the sight of Alphinaud blushing as he ducked his head, embarrassed. “Are you certain you wouldn’t rather share my bedroll out here instead?”

“Quite certain,” Alphinaud replied, pink to the tips of his ears. “I’ve slept outdoors more than enough, thank you, and I prefer to avoid it when possible.”

Estinien laughed, a rarity for him, but he’d nearly forgotten how easy it was to fluster the boy. Even so, it _was_ getting dark out, and he didn’t _really_ care to spend their first night back together on a blanket with only a candle’s light to see Alphinaud’s lovely face. “I suppose we should go, then.”

  


\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

Butterflies fluttered in Alphinaud’s stomach as he slid the door to his room shut behind the two of them, and briefly he was unsure if he was nervous or excited. Watching Estinien methodically shed his armor, piece by piece, cleared that up - it was definitely the latter.

“Why are you still all the way over there?” Estinien asked, teasing, as he sat down on the edge of the bed. “If you’ve changed your mind, I could go…”

Joke or not, Alphinaud would have absolutely none of that. “Don’t you bloody dare.” He took the few steps further into the room to steal another kiss from Estinien, grateful that for once his seated position evened out their heights. “And you had better still be here in the morning…”

Estinien’s arms wound around his waist and pulled him close to nuzzle at his neck. “You have my word on that,” he murmured, voice so low it was nearly a growl, and the tone sent a shiver through Alphinaud’s body.

“Good.” He began to tug at the plain tunic Estinien still wore. “As long as that’s clear, I do think you’re quite overdressed.”

“Hah!” Estinien gave a brief laugh, but let Alphinaud pull the garment up over his head anyway, and settled his hands at Alphinaud’s waist once he was done. “You’re wearing more than I am, you know.”

Alphinaud pointedly ignored that, opting instead to run his hands over Estinien’s bare skin, tracing the familiar contours of the man’s body with his fingers. He hoped it would help cement in his mind that this was _real._

Just above the waistband of Estinien’s pants, there was a scar Alphinaud didn’t remember. It looked rather like the remnants of a puncture wound of some kind, and his brow furrowed as he ran his fingers lightly over the ridge of flesh. He looked at Estinien questioningly. “This is new.”

“Aye.” Estinien did not seem inclined to offer any more information, and silence hung between them for a moment before he leaned in to kiss Alphinaud again. “If you really wish to hear that story, I shall tell it another time, but not now.”

Part of Alphinaud’s mind wanted to argue with that, wanted to know what in the world had happened while they’d been apart. But a much larger part was far too impatient to have Estinien in his bed properly, and that part won out. “You ought to distract me, then, so I don’t wonder about it…”

Estinien apparently took that as a challenge, because he pulled Alphinaud down onto the bed without another word, kissing him breathless in between divesting him of most of his clothing in a series of fluid motions. It amazed him at times like these how adept Estinien was at that, but he couldn’t be bothered to think too hard about it now, not when Estinien was pressing him into the mattress and kissing him as though their lives depended on it, just the way he’d been missing so desperately for so long.

He whined softly when Estinien pulled away long enough to tug his pants down his legs and toss them aside, but it was worth the brief pause after he quickly shed his own as well and leaned back down over Alphinaud to kiss him hungrily. The press of Estinien’s arousal against his hip made his pulse race with excitement, and he moaned as soft kisses trailed up the side of his neck, ending with a nip at the shell of his ear. The hot breath on his overheated skin was maddening, but not nearly as maddening as the fact that Estinien’s hand had come to rest on his belly, so close to where he really wanted it.

“What do you want?” Estinien purred into his ear, finally reaching a little lower to stroke him lightly, providing nowhere near enough friction, and he arched up into the touch.

“Everything,” he managed to gasp, and shifted around just enough so that he could reach over to dig blindly in the nightstand drawer for the vial of oil he kept buried there, under so much junk so no one would accidently find it. Once he managed to uncover it, he shoved it at Estinien, eager for his lover’s touch instead of his own. “Here, this will work fine.”

Estinien sat up just enough to take the half-empty vial, and smirked down at Alphinaud after he glanced at it. “It seems as though you’ve gotten some use out of this yourself,” he teased. “I’m sure that’s quite a sight… Perhaps one of these days, you’ll let me watch as you finger yourself open for me.”

Just the _thought_ of that made Alphinaud’s cheeks burn. Estinien loved to say dirty things like that to fluster him, but there was no doubt in his mind that he meant them. “Right now, I’d rather you do it,” he replied, straight-faced as he could manage.

Estinien laughed and uncapped the small container. “Well, if you insist.”

It took only a moment for Alphinaud to arrange himself comfortably, and then Estinien’s slick fingers were stroking over his hole, spreading the cool oil onto his heated flesh before one slid gently inside. He whimpered quietly and arched his hips up to encourage Estinien to give him more.

Thankfully, he didn’t have to wait long before a second finger joined the first, along with more of the oil, easing deeper and stroking expertly over that spot inside that Alphinaud could never reach in quite the same way on his own. He let out a low, breathy groan at the sudden jolt of pleasure, and Estinien repeated the motion a few times, touching him steadily and deliberately, and watching his reactions with a decidedly hungry gaze.

“I’m ready, Estinien, please…” The sound of his own pleading whine was embarrassing, but the way it made Estinien shiver ever so slightly was worth it, Alphinaud thought.

“You’re sure?” Even husky with desire, Estinien’s words were full of concern. It was endearing, and Alphinaud may have overthought it if he hadn’t been so unbelievably turned on.

“Yes, I’m sure.” Alphinaud moaned softly as his lover’s fingers eased from him. “I don’t want to wait any more, it’s been so long.”

“Aye, it has,” Estinien replied, reaching for the bottle of oil again, “and that was my worry. But if you’re certain…”

Alphinaud was about to argue back that _yes_ , he was certain, but then Estinien’s hands were on his hips, still messy with the oil, lifting him effortlessly, and the slick, blunt tip of Estinien’s cock pressed against his hole. He grasped desperately at the bedsheets and tried to remember how to breathe as Estinien pressed slowly inside him, and despite the initial discomfort due to their abbreviated preparations, he couldn’t help but feel that it was absolutely perfect.

“Okay?” Estinien asked, voice rough as gravel as he leaned down over Alphinaud to ask the brief question.

“Amazing,” Alphinaud gasped in reply, and hooked one leg around Estinien’s hips to urge him on. It had the additional effect of tilting his hips up at a better angle, and they both groaned as Estinien began to move inside him.

It was careful and slow at first, which Alphinaud was grateful for, despite his impatience, and he forced his eyes open to look up at Estinien’s face. He was perpetually enthralled with the way Estinien moved, but like this, breathing harsh and body taut as a drawn bow string, he couldn’t have looked away if he wanted to.

Once the pace picked up, it didn’t take long at all until Alphinaud was whimpering and moaning with every thrust, clutching at Estinien’s shoulders to ground himself. It would have been mortifying how quickly he was so close if it hadn’t been obvious that Estinien was similarly affected, clutching at him in just the same way and making low, desperate sounds as he gasped against Alphinaud’s neck.

It was over far too soon, and Alphinaud was certain he’d made enough noise to wake the entire city, but he couldn’t possibly worry about either of those things with the comforting warmth of Estinien’s weight on him as they both took a moment to recover. He gave a contented sigh as Estinien kissed him sweetly before settling down beside him, and he tried his best to wipe some of the mess off his belly with the sheets before snuggling into his lover’s embrace.

“That was wonderful,” Alphinaud murmured, resting his head Estinien’s chest and listening to his heartbeat. “But I do think we’ll need a bath in the morning.”

“Mmm, something to look forward to,” Estinien replied with a little laugh. “Perhaps you’ll finally share one with me?”

“Perhaps I will.”

 

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

Alphinaud awoke in the morning sticky and pleasantly sore in places he was no longer used to, firmly enveloped in Estinien's strong arms with the man still snoring behind him. The sunlight streamed brightly through the windows, his stomach was grumbling for breakfast, and he really did want to wash, but he couldn’t bring himself to get up. Instead, he rolled over in Estinien’s warm embrace to face him, and pressed a light kiss to his lips. “Do you want anything?” He asked, when Estinien’s eyes blinked open just enough to focus on him. “I could go fetch some tea or breakfast…”

“Mmm.” The sound rumbled from Estinien’s throat, thick with sleep. “I have everything I want right here,” he mumbled, eyes falling shut again, and he pulled Alphinaud closer against his chest.

 _Oh._ That made Alphinaud’s heart squirm in his chest. Feelings had never been an active topic of discussion in their unusual relationship, but when Estinien said things like that, it certainly served to make him wonder how he really felt about him.

_I suppose getting out of bed can wait._


	5. Chapter 5

When Estinien had first accepted it, the job had seemed like a simple one. He’d only expected to be gone a fortnight, but that soon stretched into twenty days, then thirty, then longer, much to his chagrin. At first, he’d been able to keep in touch with Alphinaud via linkpearl, but that stopped working after a while. He attributed that to the distance and thought little of it - he’d traveled far from the city, after all.

He wrote when he could, when he was near a settlement serviced by the Moogle post. His letters were never long, as he was no poet, and he was never in one place long enough to hear back, but it would ease his lover’s worries to hear from him all the same. He wouldn’t say so, but it also served to soothe his own loneliness in a small way. It wasn’t often he wished for a better tolerance for aetheryte travel - generally, he found other forms of transport perfectly suitable - but the longer he went on, the more he found he’d rather lost his taste for such long periods of time spent alone.

Finally, after far too long, the objective of his mission was accomplished, and so he began the long journey back to Hingashi, thinking of little else besides a proper night’s sleep in a real bed, preferably with Alphinaud in his arms once again.

The news that Melise shared with him upon his return was most certainly what he was expecting. 

“I’m sorry, he’s done  _ what _ ?” Estinien practically spat the words at her, nearly unable to believe what he’d just heard. “And you  _ allowed _ this?!”

“Allowed? Have you injured your brain? Do I look like his bloody mother to you?” Melise shot back, and fixed him with an annoyed glare. “As though I could have stopped him if I’d wanted to!”

“So you find it perfectly reasonable that he’s gone off to the gods-be-damned Empire alone, then?” Briefly, he wondered if everyone had entirely lost their minds while he’d been away. 

“A man you and I both saw die is alive and well in the capital. That is not a situation that can be ignored, and you know perfectly well that Alphinaud is no helpless child!” Melise’s tone softened as she glanced in Alisaie’s direction. “Please, spare me your histrionics and do us all the favor of not acting as though you are the only one who cares for him.”

“My brother only wants to be useful,” Alisaie added. “I do think he’s absolutely mad for choosing to do this, but I can’t argue against the necessity of finding out what in the world is going on.”

Estinien sighed heavily. Truthfully, he couldn’t argue against that either. Of the ranks of the Scions, no one was better suited to act in the role of an emissary than his Alphinaud.  _ But that does not mean I have to like it.  _ “And has anyone heard from him, then, since he left?”

“One of our allies has, briefly,” Melise replied, meeting his gaze squarely. “We’ve reason to believe he was trying to contact us from The Burn, but we’ve been out there to search and found only a crashed airship, with no sign of any of its passengers.”

That certainly set Estinien’s thoughts into motion.  _ The Burn. _ What did he know about it? The geography of Othard was not a subject he’d ever been terribly concerned with, but he’d just traveled swaths of the continent, and he’d heard tales. “Well. Perhaps I shall have better luck.”

“Estinien.” Melise reached out to place a hand on his arm. “He’s not out there, and wherever he’s gone, there’s no trace. When we get another lead, believe me, I’ll be there right along with you, but for now…” She trailed off, and gave a resigned sigh of her own.

“You cannot possibly expect me to do naught but sit idle.” Somewhere in all of this, there had to be an enemy he could fight.

“I hate it as much as you do,” Melise replied. “But other tasks lie ahead as well. The Scions are worn quite thin at this moment, especially with Alphinaud away, and as much as it pains me to admit it, having you stick around might be helpful to us in the long run… If you’re willing, that is.”

“And, perhaps, somewhere along the way, more news of my wayward brother’s whereabouts may reach us,” Alisaie added.

\------------------------------------------------   
  


Later, when night had fallen over the city and the full moon shone through the windows, Estinien found himself sitting alone in the room he’d shared with Alphinaud when he was last there. It was still as tidy as ever, with the bed made neatly and books lined up evenly on the shelf. The little wooden carbuncle he’d carved sat on the desk next to a bundle of pencils and a sketchbook, and a remarkable drawing of his own likeness hung on the wall above it. 

He stared down at the small stack of unopened letters that had also been left there, and traced over his lover’s name on one of them with his fingers. His own scratchy handwriting seemed oddly foreign to him, even as the ache in his chest felt all too familiar.

_ I ought not have been away, _ he thought bitterly.  _ I could have stopped him - hells, I could have gone with him, made certain he was safe…  _ Of course, Alphinaud would have refused to accept his help had that been the case. 

The room still smelled of the citrus-and-floral scented soaps Alphinaud washed his hair with, and Estinien had to resist the urge to go to the bed and bury his face in the pillows to breathe it in. There was no way he’d be able to sleep tonight, he knew. The last night he’d spent in this same room still hung in his memory.

_ “I don’t have to go, you know,” Estinien murmured softly, stroking his fingers through the strands that had fallen loose from his lover’s braid. “‘Tis true, I should like to help, but…” _

_ “Don’t be ridiculous,” Alphinaud interrupted, even as he curled up closer against Estinien’s side. “You shall go utterly stir crazy if you remain here even one more day.” He ran a hand down Estinien’s bare chest and pressed a kiss to the corner of his mouth. “I will miss you terribly, of course, but at least this time I’ll know to expect you back again.” _

_ "You have my word on that." _

Swallowing the lump in his throat, he fished out his linkpearl and activated it. “Alphinaud,” he spoke quietly into the device, aware of the futility. “Please, come home safely. I miss you.” His voice cracked on the words. “... I love you.”

There was only static, as he'd expected, and he dropped his head into his hands, listening helplessly as it crackled in his ear.

 


End file.
